Let’s start with the 27-year-old me who wanted to dip my toes into the entrepreneurial journey and jump into the cold, unknown ocean and hope to survive. Maybe that’s too dramatic, but that’s how it felt at the time. One thing that made me take the leap of faith was an inner calling that somehow was screaming, “You can do it!” After all, I had survived many events in the past (I’ll leave those stories for another day).
What pushed me was life itself. After two years of working in Singapore, a big black cloud loomed with cost-cutting and IT retrenchments. Navigating that wasn’t exciting and created a burning question in me: How can I resolve this once and for all? But as life would have it, many other blocks and complications arose. I had to address other aspects, the biggest being that I had just married the love of my life.
We were on the company’s work pass, and if I quit with my ambitious plan, I risked either losing everything, packing my bags and going back to India, or getting a foot in the door to an unknown world ahead. Both paths were scary enough to keep me awake at nights.
This crazy thought kept running through my mind, sometimes catastrophizing the whole process, sometimes feeling everything would work like a charm – in simple terms, a miracle would happen.
CAN I PLACE MY LIFE ON JUST A MIRACLE?
Wow, this was my second most challenging decision in life, and its importance multiplied based on the circumstances. I was so consumed most of my time. At these crossroads is where most of us start doubting ourselves or keep pondering without moving an inch for months or years because the unknown is SCARY. I’m getting chills writing this part, and running down memory lane, I can still see myself pacing across the balcony and speaking to the universal power to show me a way out, show me a sign.
I’m so tempted to share my first toughest decision of my life as an individual on 7 December 1999—well, I’ll keep it for later. But the main essence of that decision is that it made me a big believer in taking risks, concluding decisions without hitting analysis paralysis, and then making the right decision. Based on that, I prepared myself.
As the option of failing was next to zero, I was laser-focused on registering a company, building my business plan, and ensuring I got all the facts right. This was 2003—there was no ChatGPT, not much Google or YouTube to support the process. I took a good four to six weeks to build the business plan that would be submitted along with my work pass application. I only had one shot at this.
Failure would mean so much embarrassment on so many fronts, many of which can’t even be imagined today. Well, it’s these tough curves that make you the person you need to be. Seriously, it’s easy to say and crazy to be in the boxing ring, having the punch landing on your face. With no mentors or great advisors, this was a one-way street. I had to walk alone, so I did. Sometimes, having no options is the best thing to happen to you; it takes away the flight option in the fight.
FIGHT IS WHAT I DID. After spending 6 weeks planning, I was at the immigration office cancelling my Work Pass and applying for a new one solely based on my “expertise” of running a company, knowing nothing about running a company. In a country where I had spent the last 24 months juggling between jobs, understanding how to live independently, and knowing my strengths and vulnerabilities, I had yet to discover myself. Now I was here, daring to be an entrepreneur – or should I call it solopreneur? I didn’t know both words at that time (seriously!).
I had sent Anita (my wife) back to her hometown Dubai, as is custom in Indian tradition that after marriage, the wife visits her house and the husband brings her back – if I’m not wrong, it’s called “phera“. At this point, I could only promise her that I would return within a month with our work pass in hand. I’m sure she felt she was unlucky for me as all this was happening within months of our marriage. Little did we know how this would change the course of our lives.
So, waiting at the immigration office to submit my documents, I was filled with fear and doubt. When my turn came, with a heavy heart, I got my work pass cancelled from my company and with a hopeful heart filled out my application. It was a big stack of papers, as I didn’t want to leave anything out. After the submission was done, I was given a reference number. My heart immediately started sinking, and I started catastrophizing, but somewhere in the corner of my heart, there was hope for a miracle.
Alone at home the next day, a Saturday, I was pacing across my balcony and speaking to the universe, asking why I was being tested again, why me, why this, and why that, when I hadn’t done any wrong to anyone.
Whatever my tiny mind could vocalize to discuss with the Universe, this continued throughout the day and poured into the evening.
While still pacing across the balcony, a thought came to my mind: maybe the work pass had been approved, and I was unnecessarily blaming the universe. Then, my mind immediately dismissed the idea, as it had been just 24 hours since I had applied. This thought then kept coming back to me to check, as we could call an automated number to check the status, but another part of my heart wasn’t agreeing to make the call, as the fear of rejection kept haunting me.
After a few hours of inner fighting with myself, I got some courage to make the call, even knowing it would be in vain as nothing happens in 24 hours. With all the courage I could accumulate, I dialed the number, with my heart skipping a beat. I’m sure if an ECG machine had been attached to me, a doctor would have advised me to get admitted. Fighting that fear, I eventually called the number and got jumped through the hoops of pressing and confirming to listen to the status of the application. The voice said, “THE APPLICATION IS APPROVED”. Overjoyed and confused, I didn’t know how to react. I disconnected the call and looked up, looked down, more confused, called the number again and got the same answer at the end.
My heart agreed, but my logical mind didn’t. I asked my friend to call from her number to check the status and waited for her reply. Every second felt heavier; I could have exploded if I had to wait more. My friend’s call came in, and she said the same: “THE APPLICATION IS APPROVED.” She congratulated me and hung up. Overjoyed but ashamed, I started asking forgiveness from the universe for not believing in MIRACLES.
As I started getting back to earth, I made the most important call of my life to Anita, telling her how lucky she was for me. We did not know that her coming into my life was the biggest blessing. I waited for our passes to be sorted, and I booked my ticket to Dubai to bring her back.
Still, the journey of 1000 miles was ahead, but we had taken step number 1.
